27 life lessons, installment two

Lessons in The First Years of Teaching

Lesson 18. High Schoolers are not Adults: No, duh, right?  Ok, I knew this before I started teaching, but somehow, I still managed to come into my classroom with the expectation that high school students could handle managing their own homework assignments, meeting due dates, engaging in effective small group discussion, writing a thesis statement or simple outline for a paper, and going to the bathroom during a five minute passing period.  I was wrong. 

Lesson 17. Lesson Plans are Merely Guidelines: I may think I have an awesome day planned for my high school English class.  Then I sit there, looking into the glassy eyes of 20-some completely zoned out students, thinking, “What the heck happened – don’t you realize how cool I am?”  Life is much better when I let go of thinking I can control fickle and hormonal teenagers and learn to go with the flow.  It is a good idea to have a plan, though.  Best not to completely wing it.

Lesson 16. Don’t Diss the Classics: I know Harry Potter’s magical and the Edward-Jacob-Bella love triangle has swept the nation (including “team” t-shirts and Burger King scratch-off contests), but there’s a reason I don’t teach that junk.  And I already knew that To Kill a Mockingbird was the greatest book ever written.  I mean, come on.  Atticus Finch has to be the greatest hero ever written.  And Gregory Peck was totally dreamy in the movie.  But my own high school English classes totally missed out on some great books that I’m embarrassed I never read before needing to teach them: Huck Finn, The Scarlet Letter, Lord of the Flies, A Tale of Two Cities… they just don’t write ‘em like they used to.  So like I tell my English students: “join the grand conversation” (thanks, Dr. Frager), and pick up these great books.  It's been amazing to watch my students get wrapped up in the high-schooly romance of Romeo and Juliet and fight over who's the bigger jerk in The Great Gatsby.  They're just teenagers, but they can handle it.  And often they'll surprise themselves and connect more with these great works than they think they will.  Who knew?

Lesson 15. If You’ve Been Looking at the Same Paper for Over 30 Minutes, You’re Doing it Wrong: Teaching English is a tough gig, and I’ll admit that I wasn’t prepared for the paper load.  I would pour over a kid’s essay rough draft for 45 minutes, marking every single error and writing thought-provoking questions and stimulating remarks in the margins until my fingers bled.  And then the next day, that kid saw the “B+” at the top of the paper, noticed the purple pen all over their draft, and shoved it in their notebook without another thought.  Used to really hurt my feelings and even tick me off a bit.  But now I realize there are better ways to spend my time, and nice, thorough rubrics are my new best friend.

Lesson 14. It’s Hip to Be a Square: I’m such a dork in front of my students.  I gave up being “cool” a long, long time ago.  Because if being completely ridiculous means that I help kids connect with literature or grasp a writing concept, gives them the courage to take a risk, or brings them closer to knowing Christ, then I consider that well worth the face I’ve lost.  Wasn’t worth much to begin with, anyway.

Lessons Living in Community

Lesson 13. Get a House-Helper: It’s exactly what it sounds like.  If it’s culturally acceptable and within your budget, support the local economy and find someone to come into your home two to four times a week to wash those dishes from cooking dinner the night before, straighten up the house, clean the bathrooms, and do the laundry.  It’s amazing how wonderful it feels to enjoy a clean house together and how much it cuts down on the roommate drama.

Lesson 12. Anticipate and Communicate: Anticipate the things in your relationships that may become issues later on, no mater how strange and premature it may seem to discuss them early on.  Effective and positive communication is essential in any functioning relationship, but these communication lines must be open early on. Never underestimate the power of minor irritations.  Our Enemy loves to stir up dissention, and his greatest tools seem to be the most insignificant trifles.

Lesson 11. Eat Together: This seems really simple, but I’ve found it to be incredibly important.  I think there’s a direct correlation between the simple act of sharing meals and the stability of relationships.  Mealtimes bring us together.  We share the stories of our mornings – our afternoons.  We get the purely physical satisfaction of feeling full and connect that to the relationships with the other people present at the meal.  Life slows down for a bit over a meal, and that’s important, too.  If you’ve got time, cook together.  Even more quality time together when you’re cooking something up in the kitchen and then sharing that together at the table.  Trust me, this works.  If people are making bowls of cereal and opting to go and eat alone in their room while watching DVD’s of American sitcoms, there’s a problem in the house.

Lesson 10. Find Things to Laugh About/At: It’s so therapeutic to laugh, especially with the people you’re close to.  Our house this year has been full of silliness and I feel like we’re all getting the giggles constantly.  But if all else fails, and everyone’s having a crummy day, there’s always YouTube and other cheater’s routes to finding something to laugh about.  Share the frustrations and grumble when necessary, but it’s so important to lighten up now and then.

Lesson 9. Put Relationships First: I’ve found over the last couple of years that sometimes, I need to just take a break from what I think I’m “supposed” to be doing, and just spend good time with people.  It’s always best to elevate people above the “stuff” in life.  Relationships are always more important.  And if saying or doing or thinking something is going to interrupt a valuable relationship, best to reconsider the statement, action, or thought.

Lesson 8. Refuse to Join the Gossip Circuit: It’s so easy to talk about other people and to think that other people’s business is your business and even delude yourself into thinking you're helping by talking about other people or listening to gossip.  Ridiculous.  I’m working hard to ensure that I remain outside of this vicious circuit – as an instigator, participant, and even as casual observer.  It just isn’t worth it to gamble the trust in relationships.

Lesson 7. Forgive Well and Often: At our recent staff retreat, our chaplain, Mike, emphasized the importance of making things right with the people in our lives.  Owning what we’ve done wrong, seeking forgiveness, forgiving others, and moving on in love.  I’ve felt lately that the longer I’m here in Nairobi (or the longer I stay in any place), the more bitterness and pain I carry with me—like sludge accumulating over time.  It’s terrible.  Keeps me from loving the people around me for sure.  And so every now and then, it’s time for a good scrape-down of the sludge.  Get rid of it.  Fix things in relationships that need fixing, and give the rest to the Lord.  Forgiveness seems to be the thing that’s most contrary to our Enemy’s nature.  Probably the reason it’s so hard for our flesh to do.

Still learning and growing.  Hard to be reminded that I'll never grow out of the work-in-progress phase, but glad to know that God is there in the process - and that the process is often what matters most, anyway.  One more installment to come, and it's the big one ;)